45 Comments

So happy for you! I never got the hang of Instagram. I do seem to have a number of recently widowed and/or divorced rugged gentlemen who find my sparse posts intriguing, lol.

I visit Facebook to see new photos of my youngest grandkids, even though I see them every weekend and often at breakfast midweek, lol. Still, it's SO easy to get sucked into that scrolling, so much to make you linger there, and linger, and linger... So I'm being more mindful about not getting caught up in that.

I do prefer spending more time here, with other writers, spending time with my own writing, playing around with new ideas for my publication, and reading the wonderful and in depth, generously shared insights of others, such as yourself. Thank you! This was a beautiful read ❤️

Expand full comment

Demian, hello! Finally getting around to replying amidst all the travel excitement. Yes I think it’s so different for everyone. I enjoyed my time on Instagram but I always felt like it’s not *it* for me. Substack seems like a beautiful, nourishing place to be and I enjoy connecting with my readers in a more intimate way. Looking forward to seeing what your publication will morph into. And thank you for being a part of mine! ❤️

Expand full comment

Love love love!

So happy to read of your experience of leaving.

I’ve taken breaks before but I too am looking forward to leaving - I actually intend on completely deleting my main account, and just leaving the business one up as a base for people to find me online but not one I’ll actually spend time on.

I have to wait a little longer as I have a posting commitment with a beautiful designer but after that I think I’m actually gone for good !

My husband and I have been talking about how it would be to live this beautiful amazing life and for nobody to know about it haha there’s something so appealing about it even though it’s how people just normally lived prior to social media.

I’m so pleased to hear your business is doing well too! I’m looking forward to building mine without Instagram - how liberating.

Much love to you, merry Christmas and a happy new year 🥰❤️

Expand full comment

Hey darling! Thank you for reading and your beautiful comment. Had some time away from responding and pretty much being online all together and just enjoying family time here. My accounts are still up there, I don’t really feel the need to delete them all together since there are still some codes live for people to use etc and also as you said my photography one will always remain for people to discover me, which thank goodness still seems to work beautifully even though I haven’t posted in months.

How exciting about your commitment with a beautiful designer, tell me more!

And yes we have been talking about the same. Going off instagram for my partner isn’t realistic at the moment since his work strongly depends on it for new bookings but we will hopefully be able to work around that at some point. But yes it truly is liberating to not think about stories and all for a few months haha even though I enjoyed my time on it, something always felt a little “off”.

Hope you had a magical start to 2024. Sending much love to you and your family xx

Expand full comment

This is so interesting. I've gone rather quiet on IG, and also feel lighter. Like the day is more spacious. I'm not quite ready to give up on it, but I've decided to just show up less on there. Thanks for sharing this!

Expand full comment

Yes that is how I feel too. And there are certain people I follow that I enjoy ...... doing less feels spacious though. I agree

Expand full comment

That's exactly it. The days feel much more spacious. Thank you for reading Fran!

Expand full comment

So beautiful to read about this! I really feel you behind the words.

I've been so much on and off instagram for the last year or so. I don't have a business or a big "following", and haven't posted consistency , but relate to the thoughts around what "picking up the phone" and following other peoples lives closely does to us.

I took three months off when my son was born which was such a great decision. It allowed me to truly sink into and savor the fourth trimester.

Then I got curious and got back on. Now I scroll when I'm tired and my mind can't seem to do anything else - so I go to the simple dopamine-kick. Which sometimes isn't that bad. I follow some great accounts with thoughts around parenting, birth, life, that I enjoy. But I also want to be careful knowing that I digest this subconciously and it does indeed shape my world (and for every "good" or useful thing there's ten crappy things I don't care about seeing).

Being off it for a long time also makes me less prone to post, feeling more protective of my personal and private life. That shifted even more when becoming a mother - feeling like I didn't want my tender son to be up there on a post, along so much other stuff. I wanted to keep him close.

So what's holding me back from leaving?

Great question. In some way it help me feel connected to my friends. I live on the countryside and just had a baby, and seeing snapshots from their lives somehow makes me feel a bit more involved.

Also, I'm back and forth around if I should post and direct people here, to my substack (which I haven't yet done, have just given the link to people I know are interested). For some it might not make any sense NOT to - after all - I'm writing here to have people read, right? Yet I feel a bit vulnerable doing so, thinking of the people that follow me there who might not be aligned with where I am now. Writing this out I realize I need some more work on being seen haha!

Expand full comment

Hi beautiful Klara! Oh yes I feel you on this and love that you took three months off social media when your son was born. Also relate to absorbing energy and information even from “good” accounts that impact our own thoughts and actions subconsciously. I think it’s important to have boundaries in place and know when it is perhaps not a good time to be scrolling a lot, even if it is all inspiring content.

And yes I get the need for feeling connected, we have moved to the country as well and it does feel “odd” at times not being able to quickly check what everyone else is up to but in some way it has really helped me to sink into the life we have created and pull forward the dreams we are yet wanting to bring into reality. There is less “what am I missing out on” and more “what do we want to create now” energy lingering, at least at that point in time.

In regards to sharing your Substack with your followers I would ask myself “why does it feel vulnerable to share it”. Is it discomfort because you’re sharing more of your private self here as opposed to what you felt comfortable doing on Instagram and want to protect that privacy? Or is it because it feels too vulnerable to be seen? Also lol just read the last sentence and got the answer to that haha I think feeling good being seen is something we all need to work on a little xx

Expand full comment

This article is right on time for me! I've been considering a total break from social media. I'm an emerging writer working on a memoir and have began to use Substack recently. I agree with you that this will increase my attention to being in the present as well as my creativity. Social media is also a trigger I'm finding in some personal ways.

I'm looking forward to this break that I believe could be permanent. Thank you for sharing your experience and listing the benefits you've had since leaving instagram!

Expand full comment

That's amazing Nat! Thanks for taking the time to read. I'm also currently working on a memoir and I've found my break up with Instagram to be really beneficial for it. If you do have a break, make sure to let me know. I'd love to hear your experience!

Expand full comment

I certainly will keep you posted Claudia! Again, thank you so much for transparency and vulnerability in your article😁

Expand full comment

Thank you for this share. I so resonate with your experience! 💓 I’ve been sitting with the decision for a year now and it’s funny how this past week I’ve seen 5 different Substacks document their time off of Instagram... a nudge to finally let it go.

My entire career was built off of Instagram. I ran social media for fashion and wellness brands for almost 8 years. It was new, fun and creative aim the beginning. I launched my own online biz in 2020 and the majority of my sales and clients came through that platform.

I have found it challenging the past 2 years to stay present and “follow the trends” of reels... trying to keep up. And it’s exhausting. I never feel better after being/creating for that space. (Truly all the confirmation I need to leave!)

It’s a scary leap to leave for good, so many what-if’s! But trusting my intuition is leading me to the soul family I’ve been waiting for 🙏🏼✨

Expand full comment

Thank you for reading lovely. It is a huge step especially if your entire career was built off it. Have you heartstormed creative ways to still run it efficiently without social media? I communicate with my clients via email now which I find has lead to more return bookings (I’m a photographer). I have also noticed that now it is mainly through word of mouth, new bookings have also increased slightly which was one factor I was nervous about. My photography page is still up on Instagram for people to find, I am just not active on it, so I still get the odd few bookings from people that stumble across it and then get redirected to my website. I would love to hear more about your journey and if you end up taking the leap! Sending you lots of love x

Expand full comment

Thank you for your honest reflection Claudia!

It’s a great reminder to reflect on our phone usage and the constant picture taking culture whether we have children or not, whether we actively post or just keep them “for whenever”, we could likely all do with less.

I never enjoyed actively posting on instagram however after on and off breaks for weeks and months a time, I keep coming back to the question “what am I fleeing from in my own life that I want to follow the day to day of others, possibly catching myself thinking about their life instead of enjoying my walk in nature without thoughts. This has been profound in getting a healthier relationship with the app and not finding myself scrolling when standing in queues, sitting on the train, on a break etc.

I look forward to reading how things continue to shift once it’s been a few months for you. X

Expand full comment

Thank you as always for reading Carmen. I so appreciate you being here in this space! And I love that reflection. I have also caught myself thinking about certain accounts and checking up on them rather than just sitting with my own thoughts in the present. It is funny that they actually vanished quite quickly after making the decision to go off it - a sign for me that it was never really that important. I hope your January has been magical so far. The alps sure have pulled on my heartstrings xx

Expand full comment

I really appreciated your reflections and insights Claudia. As someone who still puts a lot of energy into the gram (I feel like I shouldn’t say there here ha 😅) I loved reading about how you’ve made the choice to leave and how it’s affected your life. I do feel it’s still beneficial for my business and events to have a presence on Instagram and I still love me some creative reels and sharing there...I absolutely resonate with all

That you said around being a present Mama and not feeling like you have to share it all.

You’ve given me a lot to think about in the best way. I am so happy for your shifts and all that you’re creating beautiful woman. ❤️❤️❤️

Expand full comment

Hello beautiful woman! You’ve been in my thoughts a lot lately, hope all is well with bump and birdie! Haha you’re welcome to say anything here my love! I totally get that and I surely don’t write to convert everyone to get off Instagram, I believe it can be a great space for some if used with boundaries and good intentions and I know you have both in place xxx looking forward to seeing you in person again soon. Much love to you mama bear ❤️

Expand full comment

I feel this so much ❤️ I’ve been on a break from instagram over the past year, sometimes popping back on to see if it feels right, if it feels good... and the answer is always a big no. It really doesn’t feel right or good or valuable anymore. It feels soul sucking, and competitive. It feels inauthentic and over the top.

The highlights of everyone’s life, but never real, never the lows or the losses. And never the true cost of what it takes to be “on” all the time, to be creating and visible and “making it”.

So I definitely feel your words🙏🏼 I feel so much more present and connected to myself and my family away from the app and I also feel so much more authentically creative! Writing and reading is such a gift that Instagram has truly lost. Substack is bringing it back and I’m so grateful ☺️

Expand full comment

Ah Jessie, hello! So good to see your name pop up here. I noticed you took a break way before I left. Are you still traveling? I feel your words and reflections here, so grateful for this platform coming along as well. I really enjoy connecting with readers in a more intimate way and also exploring all the ways writing makes me feel. It truly worked wonders for my creativity. Big hugs to you all x

Expand full comment

The timing of this post Claudia! I’ve been logged out of Instagram for a while now (every now and then dipping in to check messages and share my mobile number with whoever that may be). But it feels really good! And it also feels nice to have some solidarity in this shift away

I’ve also watched my creativity flourish, so much so that those I share a home with have pointed it out. I feel much more present with my partner too. I convinced myself I needed IG for my business but I’m sure that’s actually true

Thank you for sharing dear one x

Expand full comment

Oh I love this Carly and can so relate to feeling the creativity flourish. I feel like in some way it did too on Instagram but in a less nourishing way. So far it has actually been great for my business but will update in a few months. I just communicate with my clients via email now. Hope to see you again soon lovely one xx

Expand full comment

Amazing! Would love to hear more about how great it’s been for your business. Absolutely, I’m sure I’ll catch you at choir or meet up soon ;) xx

Expand full comment

Probably not this month but the next xx

Expand full comment

I took an intentional 30 day break from social media at the beginning of 2021 and it turned into a two year sabbatical! That sense of lightness and freedom only strengthens the longer you are away from it. I loved living life slowly, quietly and sharing myself with only those in my physical reach. I really dug deep into mine and my family's values during these aligning years and we set ourselves up for the life we now live and bloody love!

I only rejoined Instagram when we moved into our forever home and I wanted a place to pour my love into. This was before I found Substack though... and I've slowly been transitioning those IG love notes into love letters on this platform. As a writer and reader, I feel much more at home here on Substack. I never went back to Facebook.

I whole heartedly agree with you Claudia that living offline is utterly freeing and life enhancing. Using the start of the new year to kick start a break from social media is a wonderful motivator too!

I've enjoyed reading your work here Claudia and look forward to more of your letters in 2024. Happy New Year!

Expand full comment

Such a beautiful read. I went off fb and instagram 4 months ago when we made the move to Indonesia and I knew I needed a fresh start. Instantly I had so much time added into my day. While I never used my social media as a business I was still in there. Scrolling and sharing but it felt empty and draining. I rediscovered Substack a few months ago and being on here feels nourishing. Actually engaging and inspiring instead of irritating and depressing.

I use my proper camera more now too. I don’t feel the urge to share any random thing that happens. Instead I started up a newsletter here also for friends and family. And old school travel blog to keep everyone updated, as well as my personal newsletter.

I went back onto insta a few weeks ago to share what I had been doing over on Substack. It felt like a homecoming at first, but within a week I had to delete again.

Well done to you for making the change and sticking with it 💛

Expand full comment

love these reflections Claudia! I've been on Instagram for years and sharing on there has become part of my income but this year I started Substack and I'm hoping to start moving my audience over and start spending less time over there. Whenever I take a break (which are becoming more and more frequent) it makes me realise just how time consuming those platforms can be! Glad it's worked out for you and you've had a positive experience leaving x

Expand full comment

THere IS so much GOLD Here Claudia! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤲🏼

The thread about BEINg a BEtter MotHER IS the most movINg to me. It takes such Humility and courage to NAME that and to BE BEheld and witnessed IN that.

My relationship with IG has completely changed over the last year, IN that I have really divested my currency (energy) from that space and reINvested it IN SUBSTACK wHere I feel such resonance and a sense of BELONGING.

I wouldn’t say I had a toxic or codependent relationship with IG like many people IN the modern World do, IN that I would get INto scroll-holes, or that it would BE the first thINg I check upon risINg, or that I was postINg everyday for the consistency coaches told me I needed to succeed.

For me wHere the dissonance revealed itSelf was IN the sharINg of my most private and INtimate moments with a Worldwide WEb of strangers. IN the sharINg of the most private and INtimate INformation about my identity. And recognizINg how deeeeeeeply distorted and UNNATURAL that fundamentally IS.

WE (as a collective culture) post screenshots of our bank accounts and how much money WE made on a program WE sold that month. Videos of us givINg Birth. Photos of our newBorn Baby’s faces. Videos of sensual and sexual moments with our BELoveds. Videos of processINg trauma. Photos of tombstones of passed on Family members.

As I always say - just BEcause it IS normal, it does not mean it’s Natural.

It IS so so so so far from Natural to share these (traditionally) sanctified moments with so many people.

Social media has made our Lives a SPECTATOR SPORT. A performance. A Source of entertaINment, to distract others from the fulfillment of their own Lives.

ThIS IS BEcause it’s revolutionized how WE INteract, transformINg society INto a voyeuristic culture wHere the lINes BEtween privacy and public display are INcreasINgly blurred. ThIS phenomenon has given rise to two INterconnected aspects: the emergence of exhibitionism, wHere INdividuals seek to put themSelves and their entire Lives on display, and the proliferation of observers / voyeurs, who fundamentally have a fetish for watchINg others’ Lives unfold onlINe.

The allure of exhibitionism lies IN the validation, attention and approval garnered from others. Social medial has transformed the virtual landscape INto a global stage wHere people can BE the protagonist of their own narrative. The exhibitionist society reINforces narcissism, which to me IS a dis-eased that plagues modern society.

I have thought about deletINg my IG account often for the last year and thIS IS currently wHere I AM at.

I AM IN a Sovereign relationship with IG and for me what that means IS that I do not need to delete it, IN order to control my own BEhaviour or tendencies. The change doesn’t come from outside of mySelf (by deletINg IG), the change comes from INside of mySelf. The change doesn’t come from removINg / elimINatINg the temptation, the change comes from gettINg IN right relationship with the temptation, recognizINg the temporary and transient Nature of the temptation, and to act on AUTONOMY not on AUTOMATION.

Expand full comment

I have been off Intsagram for while but for some reason or another, I am still in the habit of picking up my phone...texts coming, checking emails, whatever. I have been feeling the pull to stop, stop bringing it with my all around the house and through my day...to simply stop checking it. It is still a work in progress but I always feel better when I do...the constant availability of information is overwhelming to me lately, I feel much lighter when I give myself space from it. Thank you for sharing!

Expand full comment

Yes!!! This is my challenge too. I’ve moved away from Instagram but my relationship with my phone is a whole different matter 😳

Expand full comment

I so agree with that and definitely found myself doing the same the first few weeks off it. Then I just began to have a dedicated time for emails, substack etc and made myself leave the phone somewhere in the house where I won't see any notifications pop up yet would still hear it if it rings. Now it's almost like second nature already, it feels good not to have it on hand and be available all the time. Much love to you x

Expand full comment

I turned all my notifications off yesterday! And I’m working on figuring out a dedicated time to check it.

Expand full comment

Love this perspective! I haven’t completely let go of IG but am barely there and putting my creative energy into Substack instead (plus my memoir in progress!). I can relate to the sense of calm and presence you’ve found. It’s lovely and real.

Expand full comment

It really is! Excited for your memoir. Currently chipping away at mine as well.

Expand full comment