Verdict: Two months off Instagram..

.. with no plans to return.

It feels like an eternity since I last wrote to you. In reality it has only been a week yet the person typing these words seems .. different. Changed. Lighter.

Truthfully I haven’t had a writing break in years. This one didn’t happen on purpose, it was very much my body that pressed “pause” on everything else but rest and let me tell you, it has been heavenly so far.

Amidst Christmas with my family in law, who very much feel like my own and the rush of preparing my tired body as well as our family, animals and land for our take off to my homeland in just a few days time (eek!), I have also just spent almost two months off Instagram.

For some this may not be a big thing, some may say it’s just another break up with an app, for me however it has been quite enlightening in the sense of it reminding me of the importance and fragility of life and the preciousness of time, the sweetness of presence and the deliciousness of hours spent with no thought about how to capture it for X amount of followers.

I have caught myself countless times during the past two months in moments I would normally reach for my camera/phone, moments I would’ve recorded or captured in some way to almost immediately share them with others. Why? I still to this day don’t have an answer for that.

Was it to share my life to open up possibilities for others and myself? Was it sharing for the instant gratification? Had my life turned into a marketing campaign and in turn have I consumed other peoples lives for mere entertainment as well?

Instagram started as a way of sharing visual updates with family and friends while traveling solo through Central America. It then over time turned into something to pursue, something with a promising vision of creatively sharing art and life and business, all in one app.

Have I ever really enjoyed it? Has it ever really aligned with my values? I have thought about that a lot the past 54 days. I think what had aligned was the social aspect of it. The opportunity to connect with people from far and wide, to form friendships whether they’d be private or business. Through that opportunity it had allowed my business to grow and for that matter I did love the flexibility I had when using it prior to the introduction of reels. It still is a great marketing tool for some though for me personally, I’ve come to the conclusion that it simply doesn’t “align”.

I like myself in the present. I prefer connecting with people, with you, in this way. I enjoy and am hungry to sit down to write to you letters from the heart. Ones that are thought through carefully, diligently typed for the main purpose of you ingesting them with an open heart and enough time to actually read and think about and maybe even reply to the words sent to you every week.

It is a beautiful relationship, a healthy one if you will. One that my whole body wants to nurture and even though I also nurtured the relationship with my Instagram community, it wasn’t built on the same pillars and there wasn’t the same feeling of trust and energy exchange involved. I prefer my relationships this way. Long, deep conversations mixed with the occasional quick, over coffee catch up. Honest, authentic with no agenda behind it. No race for numbers, or ticks, or validation even though I am very well aware of the fact that this also happens here - on the Substack app.

So how has saying goodbye to Instagram sweetened my days, my creativity and my relationships? Read below.

Time has become truly precious again.

I enjoy my morning coffee now without a quick IG story update. I listen to the birds without exiting the moment for a 30 second recording of it. I sit with my kids for hours on end without a single worry about needing to post something to still be relevant and visible to my community. I indulge in days without my phone next to me and have truly noticed how much I was craving just that - the need not to be on all the time.

It has shown me, and goodness I cannot wait for a year of this, that days are actually moving slow. That time as I had known it prior was nothing but a race against a clock that never really ticked to the beat of my drum. I had become accustomed, as so many of us do, to the daily grind of Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or whatever other apps have quietly (or not so quietly) taken over our lives.

The only people I share my joys and sorrows with now are the ones that truly have a place in my life. And that feels god damn good.

My creativity has bloomed.

Shutting out all this outside noise has worked wonders for my creativity. All I create now, all ideas sprouting, all nudges come to fruition with a feeling of lightness and ease. There isn’t any, or at least not as much, outside inspiration or input from other creatives that whether we like it or not can sway or morph into our very own ideas and if unaware can have a huge impact on what we birth in the end.

I am a better mother.

Yes. Yes. And again yes. Deleting Instagram and with that finally realigning with my true values has opened the doors to an even more fulfilling relationship with my children. It may be the time won, or the fact that I am much more present now or perhaps the pressure that has lifted but truthfully this may just be one of my favourite perks of saying goodbye to Instagram - putting that damn phone down for them to just enjoy me. And that’s not to say I don’t still spend time on my laptop or writing or reading or doing other things I love and that take me away from being present with them but the fact that I was holding this small device a lot and telling them more often than I wanted to that “mama will be with you in a moment” while engaging with my virtual community on my phone just never sat right with me.

I am a better .. everything.

Really I haven’t only noticed the relationship with my children blossoming, but it almost is like life had waited for me to take this one last step to open all the many doors to magic I had forgotten about.

My journey with Instagram was a wonderful one, one that allowed many ideas and a beautiful business to blossom but I can now safely say it is one that I very likely won’t return to.

Maybe I was never really made for “creating content to convert people” even though when in it we tell ourselves that’s not really what we’re doing. We are. Maybe that hat just didn’t fit even though I wore it very well. Maybe my favourite hat is the one I wore already many years ago when boarding that plane to Central America. The one that loved and thrived in the mere simplicity of lives treasures, no desire or need to “sell my lifestyle” attached. The person wearing it has changed, grown and been reborn many times over but that hat.. I think it still fits pretty damn well.

After all what I always seem to return to is simplifying. I write about coming back home to what’s true for us. Perhaps Instagram was my little detour to arriving back at what truly mattered to me. And that is that I love my life enjoying the simple pleasures. I love squeezing out every ounce of the delicious juice life in the present has to offer and I don’t have the need to share it “to convert”. That’s not to say my dreams aren’t grand but that the time pursuing them has just gained a whole lot more goodness in every possible way.

I can now safely say that life like this feels more expansive, more creative, more like actually living - to me anyway. And so far it will stay this way. It will be filled with soaking up every second of this precious life, writing about it, indulging in it, running my business in a new way and not sharing any of it in a short captioned 4:5 post. All this without a single worry or hesitation about what my absence on social media will do to my business, because even though I hear a lot of people saying that it is essential for marketing, I have noticed quite the opposite and will happily travel this lesser walked path with the knowledge that it is what reflects my values the most.

I know many of you are on the same path of wanting to let go of Instagram or other apps that played a significant part in your life and I would love to hear from you. What is holding you back? And if you have taken the plunge already, share with us your reflections for anyone contemplating doing the same.

The comment section is always open to anyone.

I’m wishing you a beautiful, expansive last few days of 2023. Thank you, yet again, for spending your precious time reading my words and being a part of this wonderful community. Your support this year has meant a lot and I am excited to see what this next year will bring - for all of us.

And as always if you enjoyed reading my words, please consider sharing them. It is truly the most heartwarming gift to a writer.

With all my love and gratitude,
Claudia x