Without the world watching

Thoughts on the never ending search of approval and a poem for your Wednesday

Hello beautiful humans,

I find myself sitting on the couch right now. It is 8.42pm, my babies are nestled in their beds, which really is just one giant bed we made out of a king and a single sized bed frame. We’re all for family snuggles here.

Sounds of crickets and frogs penetrate through the soft glass and wooden walls. The moon casting its light on our home. I can’t quite believe we’re already in October.. doesn’t it feel like we only just jumped into the new year?

Recently I’ve noticed just how fast the days are flying by and over the years I’ve practiced presence more consciously each day.

I don’t obsess over it and grief each moment that is passing like I used to, especially at the beginning of my journey as a mother. I learned to just flow with it all. At least most of the time.

To be truly present and let go of some of the many things that have taken me away from that one precious moment happening right now.

I’d like to talk to you about one of those things in particular in todays letter, share my thoughts about it and a spoken word poem for your Wednesday to ponder on.

Amongst all the things that I feel like robbed me of some time, social media might just be the one that took up most of it. I believe it is a great tool. I fell in love with it many, many years ago because it allowed me to connect with my community overseas. To see their little squares pop up made me feel closer to them. There was this sense of connections, a feeling of unity through an app. Something I had never quite felt before outside of the 3D world.

Back home social media wasn’t really a thing then apart from the odd Facebook updates. And I had always preferred to stay in the “real world” rather than spend a lot of time documenting my life for the internet. It felt odd then, but I guess it just wasn’t a thing all those years ago.

Later on, after moving overseas and Instagram slowly becoming a bigger part of life, I did end up enjoying it for the fact that I was able to share my experiences and lessons I was learning along the way and through that create new community and connect with so many beautiful people.

However over the years it has changed. I don’t quite get the same feeling of connection anymore.

Recently I had asked some people in my online community how they felt about social media, Instagram in particular. It led to many great conversations in my private messages and I wanted to share a few snippets of them with you.

One woman who had used social media to build quite a large following and was able to generate and build a business from it, said:

“Sometimes I wish I could just stop and that I wouldn’t have to create content every day for my business to stay afloat. I feel burnt out from it and like I can never quite relax into family life even on days off.”

Another mother shared:

“Instagram used to inspire me a lot. Now I see perfect reels from perfect mothers and I feel less seen than I ever have. I unconsciously compare myself to these women, day after day.”

Another women stated:

“I hate how addicted I am to it”

I feel all of these women and everything else that had been shared from many other lenses. Some shared that they still felt very inspired by it however wished they could use it less. Some are merely using it for business. Some are just happy to have an outlet. I loved learning about everyone’s different perspectives and can relate to many of them.

In my opinion social media is a great tool for marketing and to generate business if you know how to use it and are willing to “play the game” so to speak.

It has helped me immensely in building my photography business and generating other income streams via collaborations with aligned brands.

It has been amazing to discover other artists - from poets, to painters, to musicians, to writers, to chefs, to mothers (yes mothering is an art form).

It has also been a great outlet to connect to other mothers and I know this to be true for so many of us.

I felt inspired and motivated by it various times over the course of the years.

However it has also led me down the road of comparison, feeling unworthy and not good or productive enough. There were days I left it feeling dull and unable to want to create at all and I also want to shed a light on that. Truthfully I have been pondering to leave it all for quite a few years.

I recently read this piece by

Marlee Grace

on her quitting Instagram and it inspired me to look at things a little closer.

When I began to start writing letters to you all I realised how much I have missed genuine, deep connections away from all the hustle and never ending search for approval and reach we all seem to be or have to be on these days to “make it” in the world of social media.

Writing in long form from the heart with nothing else in mind has been liberating and healing in many ways.

I have been writing my whole life but to send my souls words out into the world through a medium that feels genuine and to people open and ready to receiving them has definitely sparked some excitement and trust that maybe we can all find that sweet spot right here.

That we can let go of feeding someone else’s narrative and deepening their pockets while they keep playing us like little puppets.

Here we feed the artists. We nourish their families. We support art directly.

To some of you this might just be a newsletter but I dare to hope you will look deeper.

This is here is a home for creatives. Whatever this may look like to you.

Whether you’re a writer, a photographer, a musician, a painter, a chef, a homemaker, a homesteader - a mother. Maybe you express yourself in multiple ways, dance at a few different parties.. I know for myself I get high on all art.

Here you belong. Here, if you allow yourself, you have the chance to exchange your art for true support. You won’t have to starve, whether you’re a reader to simply indulge and enjoy or a creator yourself. In truth, we are all creators in some way regardless.

My wish for us as a collective is to be able to let go of the constant search for external approval. God it feels so good to let that go.

Once we start to approve ourselves, once we love ourselves so deeply no one can fuck with us, once we dare to open our hearts and realise that above all else what matters in this life is right here, right in front of us, that’s when true success hits. That’s when we start to attract what we have always dreamed of. That’s when we open the portal to creation and abundance and miracles.

It was never about the techniques, and the connections (although they can certainly help but only if genuine) and the likes and shares and gear you use to make your content.

All it is about is to create from a place of wholeness and deep, vulnerable connection with yourself.

When you learn to love yourself deeply, you’re able to spread that love wide and far without ever feeling depleted.

When you learn to forgive yourself for ever thinking you aren’t perfectly enough as you are, you give others the permission to do so as well.

When you learn to trust into the flow of it all, you can let go of the need to hustle and produce in a way that isn’t sustainable for anyone.

Once we look within and are revealed the truths about who we are at the core, we can free ourselves from the need of external approval.

Maybe letting go of social media will change that, maybe not. Maybe we can use it in a healthy way and still remain connected to self. Maybe we can also use that as a portal.

After all I believe anything to be possible.

For me right now what feels true is that I value this relationship with you. So this is where my energy will go, this is what I will nurture.

And I thank you deeply, for opening my eyes to something I had felt for many years.

Before I wish you a wonder-filled rest of the day, I feel called to share this poem with you. I wrote it a while back, when in the thick of building a business on social media and getting a little lost along the way.. to then find myself again.

I hope you enjoy.

“Without the world watching”

What really is life
when you walk through your day
merely noticing a single thing

Like your breath
Or cold air
touching your skin

The way flowers smell
when you pass them
trying to run against time
or yet again leave the present
to share them with the world

The way your feet soften
into the ground
Truly,
when was the last time
you remembered
to take off your shoes

I wonder what worth really lies
in this success we all seem to be chasing
if we forget how to feel
what it is like to be actually living

You are not a number to be chased

If I could have my way
we would free ourselves from the constant need of approval,
the endless search for worthiness
and love within this tiny device
that was never really created
to truly connect us in the first place

We would wake up each day
and celebrate the small as the big
We would close our eyes
and feel that we are magic

We would look into the mirror with pride
not resentment
And we would love ourselves deeply,
because we learned that we can
only truly love if
we
love
ourselves
first

And we would dance, and rest and simply be
without the need to have the world watching

…

Thank you for being here.

As always if you enjoy my work, please consider taking the time to share it with someone you love. It truly goes a long way.

With gratitude,
Claudia x